- Name things.
Instead of just saying hat, you should say baseball cap or cowboy hat. It will give the reader a better picture.
2. Instead of using adjectives that tell, you should use verbs that show.
Instead of old wood, you could say the wood crumbled beneath my fingers. This shows the reader that the wood is old instead of telling them.
3. Eliminate the word VERY.
Instead of saying it was a very cold evening, say it was a frigid evening. Better yet: The night was still, empty, as if even the animals knew to hide from the frigid weather that had numbed the world.
So this was just a short post. There will be a part two later.